( I think the kids liked the flight. Priceless photo inside. )

Bit of a ritual in planning a long trip...



Yowch. Them's a lot of charts. And they're 1:1,000,000. An inch represents about 20 statute miles. Do you see how empty some of them are? Soph, that Windhoek to Maun leg will be boring. Flying over the kalahari is like flying on a treadmill, with nothing but a flat brown velvety scrub for hours. Not even roads.

I got my 206 rating today! I flew her twice. First was alone with my instructor, we did some short field landings in a tiny little strip nearby. I nailed four of them, right on the numbers at the beginning of the runway. He said he was happy, even impressed, with my short field operations and we flew home.

We then had to do three landings at max weight. Do you know how hard it is to pack a 206 full? We had six people (including my maid, my friend Lynne, and her two sons) full fuel, and stuff in the cargo pod, but I really needed sandbags to fill her up.

We took her out over the kids house, then off down the valley. When my instructor cut my engine, I aimed for a field that my 182 would have had no problem with - but a fully loaded 206 had other ideas. I finally dumped full flap, jammed her into a 60 degree bank, and spiraled down to a field directly below us. The kids were whooping - I assume, in delight?

In any case, had it been a real engine failure, we'd have landed safely. We were delayed going into Lanseria's airspace and had to circle for about 10 minutes right over the kids' house. I did three landings, and as we exited the runway, my passengers burst into applause. Much to my delight, my instructor joined in. It's not that much different than flying a 182, just far cooler and so so so pretty.

But, uh, pilot types? Any advice on hot starts? :D

anna_esq, manley1, and sofija_m,
Do you guys realise it's just over three weeks until we are all together on a kicking safari?!?!!?

It's kind like a surfing safari, but instead of a board, we use a 206. I'll show you all how it's done up the coast north of Luderitz. I hope we see dolphins and whales.

I've been sweating bullets over my type rating. I spent 4 hours this evening filling out the test, and let me tell you, the auxillary fuel pump systems in this 206 are the bomb diggity. So are the oil system and hydraulics. If we're bored on that looong Windhoek to Maun leg, I can regale you all with hot start procedures (1. curse. 2. try some macgyver shit with the mixture and the emergency fuel pump. 3. curse. 4. wait until the vapor lock clears to try again. 5. curse.) or describe the weight and balance limits with a cargo pod, given ISA +30 temperatures and full fuel. We can interpolate! Work out moment/arm figures! Or you all can just shut me up and plug your ipods into the music jack. If anyone has a connector (male to male) from the ipod into a jack, let me know.

The funny thing is that I'm already dreading the worst bit - arriving back at good old FALA and unpacking the plane. After a 2 week trip, you don't unload so much as take the plane off like a pair of sweatpants. Then you look at this aluminium beast who's just taken you 2000 miles, and think..."aww. My little bird. Fuck you, plane's owner. You can't have her back." I know - all of my clients do it.

Has it already come to this?

You all know I don't want to go anywhere. But now the trip I'm doing leaving next week (!!) is starting to give me a flight or fight reaction. People ask light heartedly when I'm going, and I panic. Finally, Julien, knowing full well how I feel about it, started asking me the tough questions I always just dodge. And not letting me dodge them, bless him. So now I'm all kinds of whacked out.

Listen, I get asked my plans about 10 times a day on average. It's polite, people are just making conversation, asking what I'm up to. It drives me #$%@ crazy. It's terribly rude of me to say "LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE. I DON'T GODDAMN KNOW" but it's all I want to say. Truth is, I don't really know, and every time someone asks me, it's like society is saying "You know, everyone else has a PLAN. You should have a PLAN. At least decide which CONTINENT you want to be on, you loser."

This is the ten times a day conversation:

Near Total Stranger: So, What are you going to do now? Go to the UK?
Me: Um, not really sure. I'd really like to go fly in Botswana, but I'm not sure where I'll end up.
NTS: Where's your husband?
Me: in the UK.
NTS: Oh my God! So...is it over?
Me: No, he just has to do his JAR exams, and I'm here doing my South African CPL.
NTS: But wait, so are you still going to be married? What about kids? Are you on birth control? What tampon size do you use? Ever get those dreams about your sixth grade science teacher? How are your bowel movements? Firm? Regular?

(ok, so it's not THAT personal, but close enough for my tastes.)

Fact of the matter is, it dosen't matter that this trip is only for 3 weeks, then I'm back. That's irrelevant, it's still such a focal point for me. It's still reality trying to drag me away from my idyllic happy life. I'll still hit my little freakout crisis when I go to the states, like I have on every trip for six years. It'll still fuck me in the head. I get there, and detest being there. Hate everything about it. It's so familiar and so foreign, and I want to get on the next plane home. But I am home, see. That's the rub. In the course of a week or so, I start saying "aww...New England...wow, it IS so lovely in the summer...those sweet wooden houses..." then by the end, the plane takes off and I'm bawling like a colicky baby. Then I get to my other home, whichever country I've been living in, and it's foreign all over again, and I'm homesick, and it takes weeks to regain a semblance of normality. I got to DC last time and saw a South African Airways jet when I arrived. I nearly had to be restrained not to cling to the wing to get home. Then I got back to Joburg and saw a Delta flight to the states, and almost did the same thing. It just screws me, badly.

I hate these trips, I really do. Really really really hate them. I sob like my life is ending twice...once taking off out of my foreign home city, and once taking off out of my other foreign home. The states, that is. And with all of this pressure to leave or to work it out and make a PLAN, it's just ten times the normal stress.

("...and she stands there, singing for money, la da dee la di da, la da dee la di da...")

We were able to visit our own at the wildlife rehabilitation centre. He'll live! He will be ready to release in about 2 months, once all of his feathers grow back. Photos below, you can see why he broke my heart.


( isn't he exquisite? )

( ladies and gentlemen, I present...Our Yummy Vehicle )

I woke up, flew the 206 above, rode my horse, then flew the 210 for some instrument training. I got home, people were already there, they'd made a fire and cooked, I sat on the veldt and chatted. And you want me to leave this....? You smoking something?

Weekend itinerary:
fly like crazed bat.

Date:	2008-07-15 13:15
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	proud

I must devote this post to giving mad props (literally, mad, as in crazy) to a dear friend.

Lise broke her wrist a bit over two months ago. She fell off a ladder and shattered it into about a thousand bits. She was in the hospital for a few days, had surgery, and ended up with four pins in her arm. The pins came out of her bones and into a horrid metal contraption, looking at her hand for too long made my arm ache. She then had a cast after 8 weeks, then it came off recently. She still is in massive pain, can't drive, can't really work, can't write, she has about 2cm of movement in her hand.

But she can, apparently, ride. I was out for a ride with a girlfriend yesterday, and she said she was going to saddle up Star and join us. She'd been on once before, the previous day, just walked and trotted a bit around the arena. I was explaining to my friend that we'd have to take it really easy, maybe just a little walk around the fields. Then Xander whinnied.

Screaming across the veldt at a full gallop was Lise, in a long flowing black cloak. Jumping ditches and banks, the dogs cavorting behind her, hair whipping in the wind, whooping and laughing. With girlfriends like this, you don't need heroes.

Date:	2008-07-13 12:00
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	lazy

Having a lazy weekend. Yesterday, I, um, managed to go grocery shopping. That's about it. I had some friends over for a braai in the evening, we had a lovely time being kind of loud and blasting the music across the veldt. This morning, I went off riding with one of the girls who had come over, while the boys made kickass pancakes. One of the guys over, Julien, is french and can seriously cook. He made these killer crepes with vanilla beans and jack daniels. They went brilliantly with the Sherry that Jeff produced (at 10 am?! Well, who am I to argue...!)

I think today is all about a hot bath, tea with the girls, and maybe another ride. God, I'm going to miss my South African weekends.

Date:	2008-07-11 12:06
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	delighted

So, the story.

Bronwyn, my old flight instructor, called me at 9pm on wednesday night. Her copilot cancelled, and she needed a replacement for a trip to cape town and back. Did I want to do it?

Oh, let's see....ok.

I could hardly sleep that night, kept punching my pillow in delight. Good thing Brian isn't here, he'd be driven mad. I met her before dawn at the Executive terminal at Lanseria. We first had to fly across town to get the VIP passenger. She took off and handed her over, so I could get a feel - sheer bliss. As the sun came up, I wound my way around the buildings in Joburg's central business district.

We got the guy, who was delighted to have an all female crew. The flight to cape town was long, we had a 120 knot cross/headwind up at 26,000 feet. As we came over the mountains, snow capped peaks rose out of the overcast below us. Paradise. We broke through the cloud at the coast, flew over the turquiose water, and landed at Cape Town international.

Lunch in Cape Town was nice, Bronwyn's parents took us for seafood at the docks. We now had an empty plane to get back to Joburg. Bronwyn's Dad came along in back for the ride. We took off behind an airbus, flew the instrument departure out, then settled into the climb to 29,000 feet. Passing 15,000, Bronwyn flipped off the autopilot and gave me control.

You know, flying the glass flight director is a very different story from our old school instruments. It took me a bit to get used to it. You have two chevrons, the green one is where you should be and the yellow one os where you are. You just have to line them up. Easier said than done. But after a bit, I got the hang of it, and flew us all the way home to Lanseria, three hours. We hit the jet stream, which gave us a kicking cross/tail wind home. The sun set about a half hour out of Lanseria, giving way to the stillness of night flying. Goregeous. I descended us down from flight level 290 until we were on a ten mile final approach, and she took over to land.

I'm still walking on air, you know. I think that's the coolest thing I've ever done in my life. I'm so honored that she chose me (anyone would jump at it) and let me do the flying myself. It's like I dreamed it all, and have to pinch myself to remember that it was real.

Wow. Just...wow.

things to note: speed of 313 knots and altitude of 29,000 feet.




things to note: who is that pilot of that sexy little pc-12 OK, first officer. OK, for seven hours.

Things to note: I switched off the autopilot and flew 3 hours home from cape town by hand. See picture number one. And things to note: being a corporate pilot kicks ass.

details to follow..

Date:	2008-07-09 14:10
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	sad

Grim morning.

The dogs were barking, and wouldn't stop. So I finally went out to see what the problem was. The problem was one of the most exquisitely beautiful creatures I'd ever seen in my life. A snow and amber colored owl, with a big heart shaped face and quiet eyes, and a broken and mangled body. The dogs were getting ready to deliver the coup de grace when I intervened. My friend Julien kept her calm while Lynne worked out what to do, and I panicked.

She could fly a few metres, it didn't look like the wings were broken. So we wrapped the poor thing in a blanket and took it to the Shamwari Wildlife Rehabilitation Centre down the road. I hope she lives. I've never seen anything so magnificent. I'll post pictures when Julien sends them on to me.

I do love dogs. Just not much today. Listen, I'm not saying the dogs really did anything wrong. If it was a mangled mouse, I'd hate owls that day. It's just in their nature. I can still be horrified at the scene.

My fingers are freezing as I type this. I swear, it's hard to be mobile before 10am. it was -3 this morning (celsius, that's about 27F) and while it's clear and blue and sunny, and will get up to 18 (65F) in a few hours, it's STILL BLOODY COLD. South African houses aren't designed for cold. Funny, as we certainly have winter. The floors are tile, the windows are drafty, there is no insulation.

I woke up at 6, when it was still dark, and turned on my little electric heater. Pondered putting the kettle on, but figured I had 2 hours before I had to be anywhere, so I just opened the curtains and watched the sky get light. I'll just let the cottage heat up a bit before braving it.

The power went out at about 6:30. Bloody typical. Electric heater, kettle, stove. Smart, for a country in which the power goes out several times a week. I finally got myself down to the big house (still in my PJs) and toasted some bread over the gas stove. A hot bath, perfect idea. We still have hot water during power cuts, the heater is solar.

But the pipes were frozen.

-------------------------------------------------

Our gardener, Blackson, is going home to Malawi to buy his retirement home. He has been saving money for ages for this. Nick and Chris didn't want him to take the bus up via Zim, so they decided to fly him there. Nick's airplane, while very cool, has very limited weight. They need full fuel, so three people plus luggage is pushing it. Blackson said he'd pack lightly. They came to see his bags yesterday, and saw not one but three massive bags, tied up with old rope. Picking one up, Nick asked what was so heavy in it.

20 litres of cooking oil, among other things. Ahhhh, Africa. They finally let him take it. It's apparently that important.

This theonion.com article is one I shouldn't be able to identify with so damn well. Everyone remember my ravings about all of our fresh organic produce this summer? :D

Best yet, Blackson has a winter garden growing, we have bowls and bowls of fresh peas every day these days. Oh, gardenering is such a great hobby! I just can't wait to go to the seed shop to buy all of those beet and radish and artichoke seeds to give to my gardener!

They say that South Africans are a funny breed of people who would rather be murdered in their beds than have to make them themselves. Brian is in for an unpleasant surprise when his clothes stop washing and ironing themselves after being left in a pile on the floor.






(note: To be fair, Blackson feeds his family with the garden, too)

Brian's gone. I'm solo in my little cottage again, which is lonely, but not as bad as the last time. I think I need to get myself into healthier routines this time - last time I was so loathe to go home to a little cold cottage that I just went out almost every night. Bad idea, really.

That said, I had a friend over the first night (good) for whiskey (not so ideal) then dinner with clients the second night (okay) and tonight I'm going to someone's leaving drinks (yeah, yeah..) and celebrating a friend's exams being over friday (see the pattern?) I mean, it's nice to stay busy and involved, but I wish it were a bit healthier.

I keep one of the dogs with me at night. Penny is an awesome house dog, despite always being an outside dog. No pee yet, just sleeps on the foot of the bed and provides warmth and company. I've never had a dog on the bed, it's always been a cat. She does tend to hog the bed if I let her. But she's all in all great to have around. Wish she didn't fart so damn much though.

I'm in the mood to dwell on the good.
From anna_esq and shogunsquirrel

Write down 10 things that make you happy, then pass it on!

1. The feeling of Xander's muzzle in my hair when he greets me on a cold morning.
2. The ever present South African sunshine, even in the winter.
3. The way the dogs greet me when I come to work, like it's my birthday every day.
4. The sound of a 182's engine.
5. Making a perfect landing. Or any landing, to be honest.
6. Being so close to getting my commercial license.
7. Photos of my mom and dad.
8. Morning coffee on the porch at the cottage.
9. Sitting in Lise's garden with the girls for a chat, wine, and nibbles.
and most importantly...
10. 4 friends, 1 airplane, and all of Namibia and Botswana awaiting us.

hee hee. Still obsessing about our trip.

People at the flight centre are jealous as hell. I've been threatened with another airplane following us. Doubt they can pull it off, but who knows. Good luck to them in getting bookings, I've sweated blood over it already.

---------------------------------------------------

My tippity top level trainer has paid Xander the ultimate compliment. Normally, trainers dislike any horse that they didn't find for the student. When you want a horse, you ask your trainer, and they produce one. They see a horse, like it, and find a student for it. If you find your own, they never quite warm to the horse. It's just how it goes. Especially with trainers like mine; she works with nothing but the best.

She asked me if she could put one of her students on Xander while I'm in the UK, she'd like to compete with him. My little baby, I am so goddamn proud. GOOD boy. Double carrot rations.

----------------------------------------------------

There's a bird native to here that has a funny call. The rangers on game drives love to point it out. It kind of goes woop-woop-woop-beep. woop-woop-woop-beep. "Hear that bird?" The Bronzed Bush God asks the intrepid tourists on the land rover. "yup." they reply. "That's actually TWO birds. They're doing a call-and-response so quickly that it sounds like one!" and we all think, "He is totally making that shit up. But he's really cute.."

I was sitting on my porch this morning, watching the sun come up with my coffee. This is my favourite time of the day: there's a fog in the valley below me, tinged orange, and no noises but the river and the birds. I heard a clatter, and two birds landed in a tree next to me. Hot Damn, it was true. One said "woop-woop-woop" and the other, with no pause, said "beep." But it all goes so fast, it just sounds like woopwoopwoopbeepwoopwoopwoopbeep.

Sorry to ramble about two well coordinated birds for so long. Nature just makes me really happy sometimes.

Date:	2008-06-26 10:51
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	grateful

A dear family member of mine was admitted yesterday to the hospital for his stem cell transplant. He has Leukemia.

In an email, he wrote: "Let me say this right here: I am very grateful to this anonymous donor. Anything that you can do to support and praise these selfless young people….."

Can I just take a moment to thank whoever is giving him such a gift? Whoever you are, wherever you are, your donation of bone marrow is saving the life of an incredible man. You may be anonymous, but your gift means the world. To me, to him, to his wife and daughter, to his little grandsons. If anyone reading this has given blood, bone marrow, whatever - pat yourself on the back. You have no idea how important you are.

A friend of mine came back with some Malagasy cigarettes. Who knew that my hometown could inspire such sentiments? Note especially the one and only english phrase on the pack.

( Hey, Bostonians, you'll like this one.. )

manley1, anna_esq, sofija_m, less than 2 months to go. I can't believe I finally got bookings in - now we can change things a bit, but it's all happening and sorted. My friends at the flight centre are so jealous. If nothing else, our plane is a little dreamboat. Power to spare, looks like a luxury car inside, and a new engine to boot. We are in for SO much fun.

( Wait for it........ )